Pumpkin Cottage

Pumpkin Cottage
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Thursday, January 5, 2012

White Wednesdays on Marriage

For the next year, or until I lose interest, the Wednesday blog posted here will be on marriage.  No scientific proof: only my life lessons.  My failures, successes and simple antidotes on marriage. 

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.  
                                                                                                                                    -Margaret Young

And so it is with a good marriage.  You must first be who you really are, you must be willing to allow yourself to be hurt, and you must be able to simply let go. This will sound trite, but I came to this conclusion after watching Moll Flanders the film way back in 1997.  Any possibility of a future marriage could only be satisfying if I could experience love in the same way. Lee watched the file with me indicating, "I only want to be loved if I can be loved like this."

"Better alone than in bad company."  My oldest sister, Mericia, used to say and it is true.  To have a good marriage you can not be needy.  Read carefully, you must be willing and able to stand alone, to be a whole person on your own and not compromise in the selection of your mate.  

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