Marriage Built to Last

Success in marriage, depends on being able,
when you get over love, to really love.
                                     Eleanor Roosevelt

Happy Anniversary, Mr. Lee.
You are my light, strength and encouragement.
We share laughter and pain.
Find joy and mourn together.
We pray and humble ourselves.

For three days before our wedding
I was a mess, just an evil fear filled
bride.  My heart could not sustain
the thought of ever getting divorced,
again. You were my anchor then as
now.

The secrets for your own happy marriage.

1.  Pick well, don't EVER settle.
     Listen to your little voice.

2.  The more things in common the better.
      Opposites may attract, but it rarely lasts.

3.  Avoid addictions of any kind.  Seriously.
     You can't change anyone,
     no matter HOW much you love them.

4.  Put your mate first.
     For success both partners must commit to put the other first.

5.  Hold you anger.  Fight FAIR.  Love IS patient and kind.

6.  Remember why you fell in love.
     Imagine your partner's 8 year old face.

7.  Everyone is irritating at times.

8.  Allow for distance when one or both partners are tired.

9.  Don't go to bed angry.
     Don't leave the house angry.
     Don't say anything in the HEAT of the moment, only to regret it later.

10. NEVER utter the word DIVORCE.

Commit and be true.  We all carry useless worn out luggage into our
relationships.  We also carry the luggage our partners may not
be able to bear. Growing up, my brother and I would wake up to
our parents arguing every morning.

Joe and I would pray for a divorce.
It was years later, during my father's illness, when
I witnessed the depth of my mother's love.
To her dying day she could recall his full name and
identify him in photographs.

I choose to NOT have my children pray for their parents' divorce,
to set a GOOD example for the watchful eyes of children,
nieces and nephews and friends. 

All the pain/cobwebs of the past must be cleared for a joyful
marriage.  If growing up you witnessed harm, if
as a child, you weren't protected from an ugly marriage or
a parade of bad parental relationships, how will you cope?
How will you NOT be a magnet doomed to repeat
the errors of your memories.   Face your fears,
address the past to ensure a bright future.

No one gets married planning for divorce.
Divorce is devastating
to couples, families and to social structure.

A marriage is not the uniting of halves,
it is the uniting of wholes.
United for love, care and companionship.

 More my love.