On Not Being Brave

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
                                                     Philippians 4:131

Vintage Market, Turlock, CA

Soon I will be flying out to Fort Worth.
It's been nine years since I have traveled
alone.  For goodness sake, I have
four children spanning 20 years because
I like company. 

This is the first time since I am this disabled.
I never rent a car so I will be counting
on public transportation.

The reservationist says my hotel
is only a block from the convention center.
A block, strikes fear in my heart.
I may not be able to walk a block
or walk the convention floor between
sessions. 

Remnants of the Past

My greatest downfall, I don't like
to ask for anything but especially help.
As a little girl of 5, I had to speak for my
parents, ask questions, ask for help.
To this day this strikes fear in my heart.

When I feel the related anxiety, I engage in
self talk.  I speak English, I encourage my
heart and mind.  My parents came across an ocean,
across this great land, without speaking
a word of English  They were so
brave.  I don't feel brave.